【Poor Things】

My daily routine works like this: I go on Poor ThingsSnapchat, I post a few pictures, I watch my crush Derick's story over and over and then I update my spreadsheet of Snapchat scores for all the boys I like.

It's a great app and I'm very good at it, but Snapchat's features aren't quite perfect. I have some suggestions that would make Snapchat my own personal utopian app. 

SEE ALSO: What your favorite Snapchat filter says about you

If anyone knows Snapchat's CEO Evan Spiegel can you please send this list to him?

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Here are my ideas:

1. I like that Snapchat sends a notification when someone screenshots a Snapchat, but I want them to make it so people can't see when I screenshot their Snapchats. I like screenshotting Snapchats and printing them out.

2. I want to know how many times people watch my Snap stories, but I don’t want them to know that I have this power, because then they’ll only watch mine once.

3. I want more filters that add makeup to my face, but no one ever realizes I’m using those filters and they'll just think I'm beautiful.

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4. Snapchat should let me add geotags from anywhere in the world to my pictures. This way, when I'm waiting for the subway to go to court-ordered community service, I can pretend I'm summering in Hawaii.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

5. Snapchat should start a website called SnapLeaks where they release the data of all the Snaps Derick sends to other people so I can see them.

6. Some people make really cool drawings on Snapchat. I'd like my friends to think I'm good at drawing, so I want a feature that adds really good drawings to my pictures that I can take credit for.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

7. I want a real life flower crown that lightens my skin, slims my face, and brightens my eyes, just like the one on Snapchat. None of the 18 flower crowns Iordered from Forever 21 did this to me. So if Snapchat could turn that into a real thing I could buy, that would be awesome.

8. If Snapchat had a filter that literally turned me into Khaleesi, that would be dope. I really like her hair and wrap dresses, and I think I would be a good conquerer of cities. 

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

9. Some of my friends think it's funny to take pictures of me and add ugly filters to my face when we're hanging out. I'd really like a magical force to surround my face that can prevent this from happening.

10. I wish Snapchat could detect when I'm sad by scanning my face. Snapchat would send me push notifications with empowering quotes and would start playing Taylor Swift.

Again, if anyone knows Evan Spiegel, I really think these ideas would improve the app a lot for me and my self worth. Thanks!

Topics Snapchat

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