【1800s eroticism】

Hard Refresh800s eroticisma soothing weekly column where we try to reset your brain and cleanse it of whatever terrible thing you just witnessed on Twitter.

You've laughed through Vine compilations. You've cringed through TikTok compilations. Now, try sleeping through Shipping Forecastcompilations.

The Shipping Forecastis a nautical weather report on the BBC. In a monotone, gentle voice, a broadcaster launches into a cryptic string of maritime jargon: "North-West four, 14 miles, West-North-West three, nine miles, one thousand and eight, rising more slowly."

Yeah, I have absolutely no idea what that means. But the BBC's Shipping Forecast puts me to sleep faster than any white noise app ever could, and as an insomniac, I appreciate that.

Can anyonestay awake through this?

The forecast was one of the first publicized meteorological predictions. Admiral Robert FitzRoy, the head of the United Kingdom's Meteorological Office, had been studying the relationship between air pressure and storms in the mid-1800s. When 450 people died in a shipwreck in 1859, FitzRoy pushed for a warning service for sea travel.

Beginning in February 1861, FitzRoy would send the daily forecast to harbors around the UK via telegraph. Then, people would hoist flags to signal weather changes to incoming ships. His forecasts were later distributed in newspapers before they were broadcasted four times a day on the BBC in 1922.

Since then, the shipping forecast has been informing seafarers and boring listeners into sweet, sweet rest. It's still broadcasts four times a day, and is streamed online.

ASMR enthusiasts have even created five-hour-long compilation videos of the beloved shipping forecasts.

"Many people find the words and the tone and the pace quite mesmerizing in a way," Peter Jefferson told 99 Percent Invisible. Jefferson was one of the iconic hosts who narrated the shipping forecast for decades, starting in the 1960s.

Fellow shipping forecast announcer Chris Aldridge believes people find it so calming because they're so far removed from it.

"The shipping forecast turns our landscape into a slightly ethereal world," he told the Telegraph. "Inhabited by communities we are connected to but know nothing about."

There's something wildly comforting about being able to completely zone out to background noise — it's like the infamous lo-fi hip hop beats to relax/study toplaylists, but with less fuckbois.

It's so relaxing, the meditation app Calm even has Jefferson's voice reading off a shipping forecast to help its users sleep. The recording features a day of clear skies and gentle waves.

The next time you're tossing and turning, turn off the lo-fi beats and queue up a shipping forecast. You'll be out in no time.

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