【The Invited Man (2017) Uncut】

All wine should be The Invited Man (2017) Uncutdrunk out of sippy cups. Whether you choose to embrace or reject that truth is on you.

The older we get, the more it comes clear that mankind simply wasn't designed to drink out of wine glasses. Humans are far too uncoordinated to hold onto a wine glass without putting its precious little life at risk. Chances are you, or someone you care about, has broken a wine glass on at least a dozen occasions.

I know it's hard to believe, but we don't have to live in fear of our wine glasses. Together, we can build a better happy hour.

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Here are the best "whatever you celebrate" gifts to give to the clumsy wine drinker in your life this season.

1.Break-free red wine glasses, Bed Bath & Beyond, $29.99

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These glasses could "easily be mistaken for fine crystal," according to Bed Bath & Beyond. That is, um, not correct, but they have a classic, non-offensive shape and they're designed to be shatterproof.

2. Hydro flask wine tumbler, REI, $29.95

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Keep your pinot grigio cold all while looking like a hip rustic urban millennial.

3. Modern Innovations stainless steel wine glasses, Amazon, $12.99

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These unbreakable glasses work whether you're drinking indoors, outside or depressed in your bed watching Broad City on your computer.

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4. Bissell 9595 Cleanview vacuum, Sears, $80.99

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Spills are inevitable. Small shitty shards of glass in your feet are not.

5. Shatterproof stainless red wine glass in cool blue, Bed Bath and Beyond, $3.99 per glass

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This is exactly the kind of wine glass you'd expect to see in someone's kitchen cabinet in Gattaca.

6. "Happy Hour Wine" glasses, Pottery Barn, $26

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Just buy a case of these and you'll be set for wedding gifts for life.

7. Modern Farmhouse Industrial Bar Cart in Grey, Bed Beth & Beyond, $129.99

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I cannot emphasize the number of wine glasses I've broken simply because I don't have the motor coordination to reach up for a glass. Reach down into this cabinet to protect yourself and the carpet you love.

8. Oxiclean laundry stain remover, $8.49, Amazon

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Quality white T-shirts are a precious commodity. Treat them with respect and Oxiclean.

9. Potato, I dunno like probably 20 cents, your local grocery store

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Hands down the best tool for cleaning up broken glass is a potato cut in half. You use the flesh of the tuber to pick up loose shards.

10. Grey quilted wine glass storage case, $24.99, The Container Store

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This is the shit I'm talking about -- a literal padded room for the most vulnerable glasses in your set.

Have a happy, stain-free holiday.

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