【2012 Archives】

Starbucks pissed off Kelly Osbourne012 Archives so she pissed herself. Or, to use Osbourne's own hashtag, #PissedMyOwnPants.

After she tried and failed to relieve herself at a Manhattan location, she got very dramatic about the whole thing and tweeted about it for some reason. There's a hefty does of rage for the "shameful employees" that were just doing their jobs instead of dropping everything to direct their attention to Osbourne's bursting bladder.

The troublesome turn of events went down at the happiest possible setting: New York City's Pride festival. Osbourne was marching with amFAR, an organization dedicated to fighting AIDS, which is wonderful.

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Now, Osbourne's struggle is relatable to New Yorkers, especially when Pride march crowds are factored into the hell of locating a bathroom that doesn't seem to mandate a hazmat suit. Who amongst us hasn't desperately scoured the neighborhood for some coffee shop to relieve ourselves? Should we have to pay for a ludicrously priced $6 latte for the privilege of tending to our basic human needs, so be it.

Here's the problem: that Starbucks was not simply refusing to let Osbourne use their toilet because they've been loyal #TeamJack fans ever since some argument on their family television show 15 years ago. That location is just small and doesn't have a restroom for customers. Turns out, Kelly Osbourne isn't special.

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Starbucks reached out to Osbourne on Twitter, so hopefully the #PissedMyOwnPants saga will be resolved and we can all sleep a little easier at night. Best of luck, Becca.

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The question is, why tweet this to your 4 million followers? For attention? If so, congratulations. But a brand inconveniencing a minor celebrity is not quite a classic David and Goliath story. Pride is about persevering in the face of great, real injustice. It's not about a straight TV host getting some urine on her shoes because she couldn't use a bathroom that doesn't exist.

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