【2011 Archives】

It's not just you: A lot of TED Talks sound the same.

Comedian011 Archiveswriter Keaton Patti -- who imagined what a White House press briefingwritten by a bot might sound like -- just shared a new imagined bot script, this time parodying the language of lofty TED Talks.

The "visibly clothed" TED TALKER opens the bizarrely inspirational lecture -- given in a "place where you can talk" -- with an anecdote about his or her grandfather, who was "paid for for being old."

"He told me there's just enough plastic in the ocean for someone to marry," the TED TALKER states. "But we're almost out of time." The audience doesn't care much about the actual TED Talk, but are insistent that they be shown graphs.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

"The crowd likes the graph since it is a graph and they like graphs for the reasons they have," the script reads. Honestly, how relatable.

When the plastic from the ocean breaks into the room, the crowd "waits to see if it this will somehow turn into a graph."

Patti even mocked up a very scientific graph for our enjoyment.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

Patti jokes that bots write these scripts after watching 1,000 hours of content. While they're actually just delightful parodies, people really love them.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

Even the official TED Talks account found it "truly inspiring."

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

(Editor: {typename type="name"/})