【Sex On Phone】

The Sex On Phoneworld at large will have to wait til August 18 to check out Marvel's The Defenders.

But a few thousand lucky fans got an early peek at Comic-Con's Hall H on Friday.

SEE ALSO: 10 TV panels you can't miss at San Diego Comic-Con

Netflix played the entire first episode of The Defendersto an enthusiastic crowd – including your faithful movies reporter from Mashable. Here's everything you need to know.

1. The first Defender you'll see in The Defenders is ... Iron Fist.

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Womp womp.

And he still doesn't know how to onscreen-fight worth a damn, at least based on his first scene – a fight sequence set in a series of wet, dark tunnels that conveniently make it real difficult to make out what's going on.

In defense of Finn Jones, he's also saddled with the worst dialogue. Like: "My name is Danny. I'm hunting members of the Hand." Groan.

2. The first episode feels like four different shows.

Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, and Iron Fistall had their own distinct tones and visual flourishes, which makes us curious to see how they'll all meld in The Defenders. But in the first episode, the answer is that they don't, really.

The Defendersfeels a bit like four different shows, each with their own color-coding, stitched together through clever editing. In fact, make that five. Sigourney Weaver's Alexandra has her own color, and it's white.

Oh, hey, and speaking of Sigourney Weaver ...

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3. Alexandra's such a badass bitch that she intimidates Madame Gao.

Be afraid, Defenders fans.

4. Luke Cage and Claire Temple are still going strong.

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The first thing Luke does when he's let out of prison is speak briefly with his attorney, one Franklin Nelson. ("Actually, people call me Foggy." "And you let them?") The second thing he does is head straight into Claire's arms, and then back to her apartment for some makeup sex. Aww.

5. Matt Murdock's out there pretending he doesn't miss Daredevil-ing.

Matt's trying real hard to just be a regular lawyer, and not a lawyer who moonlights as a vigilante. It's not going well. His interactions with Karen are painfully awkward, and he doesn't sound halfway convincing when he claims he doesn't miss his old life.

6. Jessica Jones still gets all the best lines.

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Or maybe it's just the way Krysten Ritter delivers them. Anyway, I won't ruin them for you. Just watch the show.

7. Colleen Wing definitely deserves better.

Here's what actress Jessica Henwick had to say about Colleen at the Comic-Con panel beforehand:

Colleen's really had her whole life ripped away from her at the end of Iron Fist– her father, her religion, her family, even her dojo. When we catch up with her and Danny, she really hasn't come to terms with what's happened emotionally and mentally.

Here's what Colleen does in the first episode of The Defenders: Be really concerned about Danny and his guilt over abandoning K'un-Lun. Dude, maybe stop wallowing in your own angst for a second and see what you can do to help your girlfriend? Maybe that's coming in episode two.

8. Misty, Malcolm, and Trish are still around.

The Defenderspremiere makes pains to check in with basically every major returning player from the four shows. Turns out Misty's been assigned to a citywide task force, so she's not just covering Harlem now. Something tells me she'll end up spending a lot of time in Hell's Kitchen.

Meanwhile, Malcolm is looking much, much better than he did in Jessica Jonesseason 1. Trish looks the same. Both are trying to convince Jessica that she is, in Trish's words, "a full-blown superh–"

"Do notsay the h-word," Jessica interjects.

(I know I told you I'd let you discover Jessica's best lines for yourself, but I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.)

9. Brace yourself for lots of talk about "the city."

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At the Hall H panel, Sigourney Weaver described New York City as "the fifth Defender." Sure enough, there's lots and lots of talk about "the city" – whether it's a better place without Daredevil, what it mean to Colleen and Danny, how much the Dutch paid for the island of Manhattan, what it's like to watch it fall apart.

10. It might be a while before all these crazy kids come together.

As of the end of the first episode of The Defenders, none of the Defenders are hanging out yet. Strap in, guys, this might be kind of a long ride.

The Defendershits Netflix August 18.

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Topics Comic-Con Comics Marvel Netflix

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